If you hold this green semi-transparent and opaque lightly sandblasted dish up to your ear, you can hear the ocean! *

[ring ring]
Hello, smatter studio customer service
Uh yeah. So I bought this thing and it said I could hear the ocean and I can’t
Sir, are you near the ocean?
No. but—
You need to be near the ocean. That’s how science works.
[click]

* when you are near the ocean
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Glass
8” x 8”